


The Knight of Comic-Con

by LasairTrevelyan



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cullen at Comic-Con, Gen, Mostly just silly, Random friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 12:45:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6956986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LasairTrevelyan/pseuds/LasairTrevelyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A gift for <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/stargirl428">stargirl428</a>! Based on her work "The Knight of Hampstead."</p><p>Rose has brought Cullen to Comic-Con and left him with her friend Haley! (A shameless self-insert!) What sort of adventures will they get up to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Knight of Comic-Con

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stargirl428](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargirl428/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Knight of Hampstead](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5999635) by [stargirl428](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargirl428/pseuds/stargirl428). 



Dumbfounded.

A last argument died in Haley’s throat when Rose and Liam walked away, and she was left with her mouth hanging open like an idiot.

_What the hell is going on?_

At first, she thought maybe Rose just had a type. An oddly specific type, but whatever. Hell, if Haley ever met a guy who looked like Cullen Rutherford, she'd want to kiss him too. But this? Claiming this guy _was_ Cullen?

This was a really cruel joke.

Haley wheeled furiously on Greg--Cullen _\--whatever_ , and pointed her finger right in his face.

“Explain!” She snarled. Her green eyes flashed angrily as she scowled up at him.

Cullen's hands flew up in defense, his eyes wide and startled. “Lel--Haley--please. Let me...” he stammered. “Rose is telling the truth.” He scanned the room and pulled Haley off to the side, where the crowd was thinner and they wouldn’t be overheard as easily.

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” he started, lowering his voice a little, “believe me, I had a difficult time adjusting myself. But I really am Cullen Rutherford. Commander of the Inquisition’s forces, former Knight-Templar, all of it.” He pulled off his glasses so Haley could better examine his face.

It was almost unsettling. It was all so familiar. His face, his voice, _that scar_ … His honey-gold eyes seemed so genuine, pleading with Haley to understand, to believe. And she wanted to.

But she couldn’t. Not just yet. Her scowl softened, but she folded her arms across her chest.

“How many siblings do you have?” She challenged.

“Three. I have an older sister, Mia, then there’s myself, Branson is next, and Rosalie is the youngest.” Cullen replied easily.

 _Too easy…_ Haley thought. “Where are they now?”

“Obviously, you know we grew up in Honnleath. After the Fifth Blight they moved to South Reach and I, to Kirkwall.” 

Haley paused. “Alright, who is the Inquisitor?”

Color flooded Cullen’s cheeks, unbidden, and he coughed awkwardly. _Oh, this should be good…_

“The Inquisitor. She--err--ahem. Evelyn. Trevelyan.” He choked out, clearly flustered. “She is the youngest daughter of Bann Trevelyan in Ostwick, in the Free Marches. She is a dagger-wielding rogue, and a very capable leader.”

“Is she pretty?”

“Yes--what?”

Haley allowed herself a small giggle. “Oh, nothing. Anyway. Corypheus?”

“Defeated. About a month before my arrival in London,” Cullen sounded relieved.

Haley nodded, pausing to think of more questions. “Who became Divine Victoria?”

Cullen grinned. “Your likeness, Leliana,” he replied. It was Haley’s turn to blush, then.

“Okay, umm, what about Solas?”

Cullen frowned. “Disappeared. Immediately after Corypheus was defeated. Leliana’s spies have so far been unable to locate him. Why? What about Solas?”

Haley shook her head quickly, hoping she didn’t give away too much. Though this was telling; someone who wasn’t Cullen--and had played through the entirety of the games--would know about the elf mage’s true identity. “Don’t worry about it. Tell me, though, who is the President of the United States?”

“The what?”

Haley raised an eyebrow. “The President? The leader of the country in which you currently stand?”

Cullen shrugged helplessly, his frustration increasing. “I--I have no idea. Really, I don’t.”

“And what about--”

“Leliana please!” Cullen groaned loudly. Haley was silenced immediately, her face suddenly pale and eyes wide. Cullen blinked and realized his mistake. “Haley. Haley. I’m sorry. It’s just...I don’t know about this world. And you look like her. And I’m a bit confused.”

Haley remained stunned. It was true, then. This was Cullen. _Cullen_ Cullen. “...How…?” Was all she could manage.

Cullen shook his head. “We’re not sure. The last thing I remember is falling through a rift and landing flat on my face in a park in the middle of London. Literally. That’s why we are here. Rose and Liam hope to get some answers from the company who developed the game. And perhaps find a means for me to travel back to Thedas.”

“Holy shit…” Haley murmured.

Cullen grinned. “Indeed,” he conceded. “Are you satisfied with your interrogation, now?”

“For the moment,” Haley chuckled, “But I’ll probably have more questions later.”

Cullen laughed and shook his head. “Maker’s breath, remind me to _never_ introduce you to Leliana…”

Excited, Haley smiled widely. She pulled her hood up and grabbed Cullen’s hand. “Come on, let’s see what sort of trouble we can get into,” she said, practically skipping towards the massive crowds. She pulled out her phone and sent Rose a short text message:

**I BELIEVE YOU.**

 

*************

 

“Oh no, we are _not_ talking about this right now…” Haley groaned, her cheeks flushing.

“So you _did_ romance me in the game as well!” Cullen prodded, with just a hint of smugness in his voice that made Haley scowl.

“Yeah, me and at least 60 percent of the women in this hall,” Haley replied, sweeping her arm to gesture to the crowded exhibition hall. They were walking through, taking in the sights. Haley knew quite a bit of this was over Cullen’s head.

A child dressed as a tiny Darth Vader darted through the crowd, squealing as he narrowly missed colliding with Cullen’s long legs. Cullen swerved to avoid the kid, staring down in bewilderment.

“And some of the men as well.” Haley continued, stifling a giggle as the little Sith Lord continued on his path of mischief and galactic domination. “So keep your glasses on, Clark Kent, unless you want more unsolicited attention.”

Cullen’s brow furrowed. “Who is Clark Kent? You and Rose both have mentioned him now.”

Haley snorted, then laughed loudly. “I forgot you wouldn’t know,” she said. “Clark Kent is the secret identity of Superman, one of this world’s most iconic superheroes. Superman has all these incredible powers, like flight and super strength and laser eyes, and he can’t exactly walk around on the street flaunting these powers. So he spends most of the day in disguise, going by the name Clark Kent, and wearing glasses very similar to your own.”

Cullen nodded, but the frown didn’t completely leave his face. The reference was no longer entirely lost on him, but it still didn’t make much sense.

Before he could ask to elaborate, both of their phones buzzed. A group text from Rose.

**_How’s it going you two?_ **

“Want to send her a picture?” Haley asked. She opened the camera on her phone and lifted it up before Cullen could answer. “Smile, please, Commander,” she teased before snapping the photo. Apparently satisfied, she sent the picture along with the message:

**We’ll be taking over the world shortly. Prepare yourself.**

 

***********

 

A woman dressed as Josephine stopped Haley and Cullen in the hall.

“Your costume is amazing!” She gushed over Haley’s version of Leliana.

Haley grinned and spun around once. “Thank you so much! God, it took me forever, but I’m so happy with how it turned out!” She laughed.

“Oh this is awesome, my friend is dressed as Cullen, we should get a picture!” The woman turned and called to someone and Haley looked at Cullen worryingly. Cullen looked nervous too, but nodded to reassure her, and moved to stand off to the side, as inconspicuously as possible.

And then the friend walked over. _She_ walked over.

Haley saw Cullen’s eyes go as wide as dinner plates. His hand flew to the back of his neck, like she’d seen it do so many times before, and his cheeks flushed.

The blonde woman was wearing an incredibly impressive Lady Cullen costume. The breastplate and gauntlets were ornately carved and detailed, and the thick, furred pauldrons were attached to a bright red cape. What typically would have been the skirt of the Templar robes was a pleated skirt made of rich, embroidered red and gold fabric, cut higher in the front than the back to reveal thigh-high leather boots and showcase a panel on which the flaming Sword of Mercy was emblazoned. A sword was strapped to her hip and her long blonde hair curled over her shoulders.

The woman smiled as she walked over; introductions and compliments were exchanged. Haley turned back to Cullen, who simply stood gaping at the trio in awe.

“Cull--lark!” Haley called, almost forgetting to use Cullen’s alias of the day, “Would you take the picture for us?” She pulled out her phone and handed it to him. That seemed to shake him awake, and Haley grinned knowingly at him.

Cullen snapped a few pictures on each of the women’s phones and handed them back, quiet but friendly. “Josephine” and Lady Cullen looked at him strangely, but said nothing.

Then Haley had an idea. “Would you mind getting a photo with my friend? He gets teased a lot for looking so much like Cullen. This would be a great picture to send to his girlfriend!” She asked the Lady Cullen, who laughed and agreed happily.

Cullen glared at her as he walked over, but smiled for the photo nonetheless. Haley worried about what sort of revenge he would get on her later. Whatever it would be, it was worth it.

She thanked the women before they walked away, and turned back to Cullen, who looked less than pleased. And still a bit shell-shocked.

“Oh, you hate me right now, don’t you?” Haley asked with a guilty smile.

Cullen chuckled. “Forgive me, I just thought the idea was for me to lie low for the afternoon,” he joked.

Haley stuck her tongue out at him in response while she sent the photo of the two Cullens to Rose:

**Twins!!!**

 

**************

 

“So, I have a question for you,” Cullen asked. They were taking a break from the crowds and had found a small bench to sit on, quiet and away from prying eyes.

Haley looked up at him warily. “Okay?”

“Well, Rose was telling me about this thing...called fanfiction?”

Haley paled and looked at Cullen, horrified. “You didn’t read any....did you?” She asked softly.

Cullen laughed, hard. “No! Rose wouldn’t let me! But something tells me you’ve written some yourself,” he replied, to which Haley blushed furiously. “What is so bad about it?”

Haley groaned. “It’s not that it’s _bad_ , necessarily. Well, some of it is. Really bad. But...it’s just that it’s...it’s _you_. 

Cullen looked surprised. He paused for a moment to consider. “People write this fanfiction...about _me_?” He asked hesitantly.

The look Haley shot Cullen just screamed “Are you actually asking this question right now?”

“You have to show me,” Cullen said, completely serious.

“Maker, no! It’s embarrassing!” Haley cried, hiding her face in her hands.

“Varric writes stories about his friends all the time,” Cullen argued.

“This is totally and completely different! _You all aren’t supposed to be real!_ Fanfiction writers...take liberties...with your--with their characters.”

Now Cullen looked a little worried. “What...what sort of liberties?” He asked, beginning to realize that maybe he didn’t really want to know.

Exasperated, Haley sighed loudly and pulled out her phone. “You are _so_ going to regret this…” She muttered under her breath, typing a few things onto the screen. “So, what would you like to read about? Yourself, I assume?”

Cullen’s cheeks flushed. “Call it...curiosity,” he admitted. “What are my choices?”

“The possibilities are almost literally endless,” Haley answered grimly. “Is there any specific... _coupling_...you’ve been curious to explore? There’s the usual: Trevelyan, Lavellan, a few where you reignite the passion between yourself and the Warden Amell.”

Cullen’s cheeks remained a very telling red. Haley pretended not to notice.

“There are some really cute ones with you and Dorian--”

“--the mage?” Cullen coughed.

“--or Alistair--”

“ _\--the King!?_ ” He choked, turning red.

“Oh, yes,” Haley said with a sly grin. “Apparently Templars in training are a bit...adventurous.”

“Sweet Maker…”

Haley positively cackled. She handed Cullen her phone. “Here, just scroll through until you find something that looks interesting.” Cullen warily accepted the device and fell silent as he looked the website over.

“What is...OT3?” Cullen asked after a pause, then coughed awkwardly. “Nevermind…” he muttered, and it was all Haley could do to keep from doubling over with laughter.

“Which one did you write?” Cullen asked accusingly.

“I am _so_ not telling you that!” Haley exclaimed, reaching to snatch her phone back from Cullen, who pulled it away and held it out of her grasp.

“Cullen!” she cried angrily.

“You must tell me,” he said, smirking.

“It’s embarrassing and awful _and you will not read it!_ ”

“So it is about me?”

“Of course it’s about you, you twit!” Haley scowled, still reaching for her phone. “Otherwise I would _consider_ showing you.”

“Please, tell me,” Cullen asked gently. 

Haley huffed, then groaned. “Fine. It’s an alternate universe in which you are an Avvar thane taken prisoner by Evelyn Trevelyan’s father and shipped to Ostwick where Evelyn’s mother tries to civilize you and you and Evelyn fall in love _now hand it over._ ”

Cullen finally handed Haley her phone, though he smirked, looking intrigued. “It sounds more fascinating than you make it out to be, Haley,” he said. “I should like to read it.”

“On your own time, Rutherford,” Haley replied, glowering and defeated.

 

**********

 

Haley was lying on the bench when Cullen returned from the restroom. Music was playing on her phone and she was humming along quietly. When she heard him approach, she sat up and grinned, pausing the music.

“I got you something!” She announced with a smile, handing Cullen a plastic shopping bag.

Cullen frowned. “You didn’t have to…”

“Just open it!” She urged excitedly.

Chuckling, Cullen reached into the bag and pulled out a folded pile of blue cotton. His face fell into one of slight confusion as he unfolded the fabric. It was a T-Shirt, with a large red and yellow stylized “S” shape across the front.

Haley laughed lightly at his reaction. “It’s Superman’s symbol,” she explained. “He always wears his costume under his Clark Kent disguise, in case the world suddenly needs saving. I thought it would be fun, and funny, since you’ve been kind of like Clark Kent all day.” She smiled shyly.

Cullen’s smile returned. “It’s incredibly thoughtful, Haley. Thank you very much.” He said kindly.

They both lapsed into a small silence; a lull between conversations. Haley fiddled with the clasp around her hood. She kept the hood of her costume down, after noticing on several occasions that Cullen often had to do a double-take if she accidentally caught him off guard. Not to say she wasn’t _a little_ proud of herself for creating such a convincing Leliana, but she did want the Commander to feel comfortable around her. Poor guy looked so far out of his element here--how weird it must feel to see yourself being treated as both a fictional character and a celebrity.

“So,” Haley started, scuffing her boot awkwardly at the ground, “good day so far?”

Cullen huffed, smirking. “I’m not sure ‘good’ and ‘utterly bizarre’ mean quite the same thing. This is...indescribable.” He waved a hand at their surroundings.

Haley laughed. “I can’t even _begin_ to imagine. Allow me to amend my question, then. Have you had a not-completely-miserable day so far?”

Cullen chuckled in response. “Not completely miserable, no,” he conceded, “In fact, I’d say it has been moderately un-miserable, as far as days go.”

“Shit, coming from the you that I’m already familiar with, that’s a compliment of the highest degree! I feel pretty victorious right now!” Haley grinned smugly, crossing her arms across her chest.

Cullen mocked offense. “Come, now, I’m not _that_ dull, am I?”

Haley snorted and rolled her eyes jokingly. “Commander Stick-Up-the-Ass,” she muttered, elbowing him in the ribs lightly.

“I’ll have you know that stick fell out of my ass long ago!” Cullen scoffed.

“‘Bout the same time you fell out of the sky and landed on your head in the middle of London, I hear,” Haley quipped, and Cullen laughed loudly.

“You may be right,” he replied lightly, “I haven’t been able to find it since then.”

Haley grinned and shook her head. Damn, this was bizarre. All those times playing the Dragon Age games, all those times she replayed a romance cutscene with _this man_ because she was feeling lonely, all those hours spent writing silly stories she couldn’t get out of her head. And now he was standing _right next to her_ , trading jokes like it was no big deal. And he was _definitely_ in love with her best friend from childhood. She could tell by the way his face practically glowed when they talked about her. This was some sort of new insanity, and it made Haley’s head spin.

“I want to come with you,” she said suddenly. Decisively. Her heart was hammering in her chest, terrified he would just turn her down outright.

Cullen blinked. “What?”

“When you go back. To Thedas. I want to come with. With you and Rose.”

“We’re still not even sure it’s possible,” Cullen replied, shaking his head. “And why would you want to, anyway? What about your life here?”

Haley snorted derisively. “What life? Broke and barely employed? Archaeology graduate assistants aren’t paid that well, I’ll have you know.”

She paused, sighing. “I’ve never fit in here. History is my life--I was never meant for the modern world. I’m most myself when I’m not...myself.” She gestured to her costume. “I _need_ more. I’ve spent my whole life feeling _stuck_. This could be my out. My new big adventure. I’ll join the Inquisition. I can help excavate Elven ruins. Any ruins. Or, shit, teach me to fight and I’ll just be a grunt soldier. Whatever it takes. But I want to go.”

It wasn’t a question, nor was it a demand. But there was a certain determination in Haley’s voice that resonated with Cullen. She reminded him almost of himself, when he was much younger, trying to convince the world that he would join the Templars.

“We should talk with Rose,” he said finally. “There needs to be a way to get _to_ Thedas before we consider who is going.”

Haley exhaled, buzzing her lips together. “You’re right, of course,” she said softly. “Just...wanted to put it out there.”

 

************

 

“Oh! There seems to be a makeshift sparring ring for live-action roleplaying! Want to check it out?” Haley asked.

Something seemed to spark in Cullen just then, and he grinned. “Absolutely,” he replied. Excited, Haley linked arms with Cullen and they strolled over to the small arena on the other side of the convention center.

They stood off to the side of the sparring ring, where they had a good view of the participants. It was fascinating to watch Cullen watch them. His whole demeanor changed; his arms crossed over his chest and he frowned slightly, scrutinizing and evaluating the combatants.

This was the Commander.

Every so often Cullen would sigh or mutter a criticism. It wasn’t without cause...the current participants were not all that great. Still, Haley had to stifle a few giggles.

“His stance is all wrong. A real soldier would have knocked him flat on his back by now.”

“Why is he dancing around like that? Maker, this is a fight, not a waltz.”

Haley laughed. “I can guarantee you that many of these guys have never had any formal weapons training,” she said, leaning over and speaking in a low voice. She was sitting on a dais covered in fake plants, swinging her legs casually. Cullen was leaning back against it next to her. Occasionally someone would look over, annoyed, when Cullen criticized too loudly.

“Well, it’s frankly embarrassing,” Cullen answered with a roll of his eyes. He groaned when one of the participants took a well-placed hit to the shoulder. “Come on, man, there’s a shield in your hand! Block with it!”

Haley nearly fell over with laughter. “If that man were your enemy, you’d be dead!” She finished, deepening her voice to impersonate Cullen’s. The Commander looked over at her, surprised.

“I’ve heard that line a few times,” Haley explained with a grin.

Before Cullen could respond, a man dressed as a knight approached them, looking angry.

“Bro, you’re being really rude. Could you keep it down?” He said.

Cullen shrugged. “I’m merely commenting, _bro_ ,” he replied coolly. “And I am not wrong. His form is atrocious.”

“Oh really? And you think you could do better?” The knight challenged, looking Cullen up and down in his button-up shirt, jeans, and Chuck Taylor shoes.

Cullen smirked. “I’m certain of it,” he answered confidently.

The knight scoffed. “Then let’s go, dude!” He hurriedly pulled off one of his gauntlets and threw it at Cullen’s feet. “You and me. Come on.”

Cullen glanced over, unsure, at Haley, clearly worrying about what Rose might think. Haley just shrugged. “He _did_ throw his gauntlet at you and everything,” she said unhelpfully.

Cullen pressed his lips into a firm line, thinking. Then he pulled off his glasses. “Hold these,” he said and handed them to Haley. He rolled his sleeves up, determined, as he strode over to the weapon rack.

Wide-eyed, Haley typed a hurried text to Rose before climbing up to get a better view.

**ROSE. Get over here. NOW.**

 


End file.
